Her birthday was everything I hoped it’d be.
Actually it was more that I could have ever dreamed.
For the first time in a long time I could feel something. The distance that sometimes separates us from that raw grief and intense pain was gone, and that closeness that my heart has been longing for swept over me that day – with tears and joy, sadness and contentment. What a unique dance we dance, to balance these extreme opposites, every day, every moment but especially on days like this.
If it has to be this way – her up in Heaven and me down here, I really couldn’t have asked for more that day.
First of all, our magazine launched at 12:01 on her birthday (at her exact time of birth).
At 3am our press release went into the world and got picked up by more than 100 online television and news stations around the country, including Yahoo!
Around 8ish, our day started and couldn’t believe how quickly the magazine took off in a matter of hours.
A little bit before noon, Bubby and I headed to the cemetery to meet Pete (he was working and came out on his lunch break).
I sat in the grass, held Bubby close and read her this book. For the first time I didn’t feel crazy talking to her. I have heard of other people being able to talk to their loved ones at the cemetery, and the other day I just let it all go. I cried, I talked to her and I told her about life.
I have no earthly idea how much she can hear, or what the communication between this world and the next really is, but it felt good to get it all out.
Around sunset we did a butterfly release. All I can say is if you’ve never done this, you really really should.
It’s magical, and so much fun.
It made me teary watching the butterflies fly away, but in a sweet way it made me think of how quickly Jenna came and left. And a tugging feeling in my heart that she wasn’t meant for this world, but for a brief visit.
A handful of people in real life remembered this special day, and really that is all that matters.
She isn’t forgotten. She is missed. And Heaven is so real.
This is my today’s Hope.
*Linking up with The Journey.